Sometime in the beginning of 2016 – March or April? Who knows I have major baby brain!!
I sat in the doctor’s office when she suddenly picked up the pregnancy test that I had done fifteen minutes earlier and exclaimed “Oh my! I think you’re pregnant!!” I stared at the blank pregnancy test. “Do you see that very faint pink line?” I didn’t. “That is an indication of a very early pregnancy” I stared harder at the blank pregnancy test willing the lines to suddenly appear. They didn’t. “Look you are definitely in the early stages of pregnancy but I think you have appendicitis so you better get yourself to emergency” she jumped up and almost did a little dance to the door to hold it open for me “ This my dear is going to be one interesting pregnancy”
At emergency I decided to withhold the doctors test as quite frankly I never saw any faint pink lines and was beginning to wonder about her mental state. But during the routine check me over they decided to do a blood test to rule it out, and came back with the news that yes I was indeed three weeks pregnant. We were overjoyed to say the least. However they needed to rule out an ectopic pregnancy, (A pregnancy that develops in your fallopian tubes and needs to be surgically removed) so booked me in the next day for a blood test to test my pregnancy hormone levels. I went and had my levels done. They re-booked me in two days time. And two days time. And two days time. An obstetrician from the hospital called me after all this testing and told me she had booked me in for a scan even though it was far to early to see anything they just wanted to be safe. I asked wether my hormones were rising, and she cagily replied yes. I went in for my scan and the woman was incredibly grumpy saying there was no way she could see anything this early and she would have to do a vagina scan (huffing and puffing!) One very rough, uncomfortable $250 scan later we were no closer to knowing anything, Blood test the next day, and two days later and finally a scan booked for around the five week mark, this time at the hospital, this time they will be able to see if its ectopic.
So I’m at the hospital nervous as all hell considering my last rough grumpy ultrasound. My partner Daniel wasn’t with me as they were just ruling out wether it was ectopic (or so we thought!). Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd “so because its still such early days we will have to do a vaginal scan are you ok with that?” No bitch I’m not ok with that. It’s weird, you use lube, and there’s a man in the room, it feels like some freaky German sci-fi porn. Ok. “Have you had IVF?” Nope. They start the ultrasound its very quite. You could literally hear a pin drop. Lots of hush hush radiologist talk. More questions about fertility treatment and IVF. Is it ectopic? “Not that we can see” Phew. So I start concentrating on the scan. Will it look like there’s a tiny tadpole inside my tummy? Will I see anything? Anything at all?? I start laughing and mention the scan looks like the scream mask. Weird laughter more hush hush radiologist talk. More questions about IVF and fertility treatment. Shit lady I’m pretty sure I would know if I dropped a couple of thousand dollars on IVF!! By this stage I’m beginning to wonder if there’s something freaky they can see, as there’s too much hush hush for my liking. Sensing my discomfort (from all accounts people!!) She decides to point out the yolk sac. I stop. I stare. “But there’s three of them?” she laughs nervously and starts picking lint off the wall “Am I having three babies???” Expecting the response to be-ha-ha of course not! You wish (wink wink nudge nudge) Those other areas are the placenta and the placenta! Your baby has two placentas! Double nutrition! Instead I get “ We will just wait for the doctor to come in” Enters the DOCTOR!!! The radiologist defensively exclaims, “she asked outright!! She CAN count” lol just how long were you going to keep it from me???? Doctor (too brightly for my liking and emphasising with a clap) “so!!!! (clap) you are having TRIPLETS!!! ” (clap) Now comes the nervous laughter from my end. I look up at three sets of eyes staring at me with excited expectation and realise its not a joke?? I start laughing and crying and the rest of the scan is a blur.
I leave the dark room blinking at the light and feeling completely disorientated. I find a weird snack shop with a tiny old lady behind the counter. “Excuse me can you please help me find my way out?” I feel tiny and small. She comes to the other side of the counter and puts her arm around me “oh deary you don’t look so good, what’s the matter” I’m pregnant with triplets. “IVF?” NO!!! She starts squealing with excitement and calling out she’s pregnant with triplets!!! Triplets!! NATURAL!!!!! Suddenly I’m in a sea of squealing purple rinses “Triplets!!!” “Triplets!! ”TRIPLETS!!!!” I stumble; find the stairs and half run half stumble to the exit gulping the fresh air. I take a moment to stop.
FUCK!!! What will Daniel say?
PS. When the scan went all blurry they did actually tell me that I had three ovarian cysts rupture when my ovaries released the three eggs and thats why I ended up in emergency with suspected appendicitis-Yay! What fun!!
My freaky scream mask first scan picture!